As this school year is coming to an end I noticed how completely different my life is from the beginning until now: I’ve drifted from people, gotten closer to people, met some of my expectations, learned some things, made unwise decisions, etc. However in the end it made me realize how much things have changed.. and that’s quite okay, more or less. I’m pretty content right now. Although there are still some things I haven’t accomplished this year like I expected to, there’s always next year. If not by then, then man, I’ve been too reserved lol. But yeah. 

An example of what would be this post. Why is studying so ‘hard’? I think I screwed myself over for procrastinating… Gah, fuck meeeee. 

The choices I choose to make nowadays seem like it’s only benefiting one person and hurting another, directly or indirectly. The last time this scenario happened was in 5th grade, and after 5 years who would’ve thought I’d be in the same path again.. I don’t want to be in this path anymore. It’s slowly eating myself alive on the inside. I don’t want to hurt others nor do I want to look like/be a bad person. It’s not too late to change my ways, is it? I’ve been doing so much thinking lately… it’s unhealthy.

Although this week hasn’t really been the best week for my mother and I, I can still honestly say I love her sooo much and I’m so grateful to have a mom that actually shows she cares. And despite all my actions recently, I still take her teachings and advice and apply it for the better, even though I can be so hypocritical at times. There are times where I dislike my mom because she prevents me from doing stuff, I still love her. Happy mother’s day, mommy. I love you. 

Things aren’t the same anymore.. I can actually feel you looking at me with disappointment even when you’re not making eye-contact with me. Like, there’s nothing that needs to be said anymore or nothing worth saying. Exactly how much emotions did we exert for it to become this way? If my thoughts and opinion were really that unreasonable, then I’m sorry for saying anything from the start. I wanted understanding, I didn’t compel silence. This is just wonderful. Just simply wonderful.

I’m so bad at saving..